I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
