so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
