OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
