You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize