woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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