Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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