I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
