Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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