i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
being pregnant is like rehab
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
