giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
