pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize