So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
