Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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