I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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