i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
