and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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