Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The uberlube is also flammable
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
