My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize