I think my vagina is haunted
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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