Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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