I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I smell like Dick and happiness
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
