remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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