My friends, they love my intelligence
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
