MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
