Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
