does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
