Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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