So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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