This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
