Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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