you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
