Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
