just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
