it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
ok first of all what the fuck
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
