well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
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nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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