take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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