Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
