My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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