whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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