Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
