I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
