I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
