Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dick very happy bro
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
