apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
