I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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