tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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