planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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