He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
