Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize