he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
