Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
