I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
