i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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