She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
