Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
