Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
