Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
