Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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