Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
