I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
