It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
