I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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