therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
