i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
