What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
