Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
