oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
