I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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