she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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