i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think i have herpe
just one?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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