I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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