cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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