She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
