You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
