my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
