i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize